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Reader

Last Wednesday, as I was preparing for a work trip to Arizona, my five-year-old daughter gave me an unexpected lesson in decision-making.

"Why do you need to go to Arizona?" she asked when I told her I'd be gone for a few days.

I gave her my usual response about work and money – the one many working parents default to: "So we can have money to pay for the things we need."

Her reply stopped me in my tracks: "I don't really care about money that much."

When I asked her to tell me more, she continued with the clarity that only a child can muster: "There are things that are more important than money... like family."

In that moment, I saw the world through her five-year-old lens: a simple choice between money and family, with family clearly being the more important of the two. Why would anyone choose differently?

The False Dichotomy

But here's what my daughter doesn't yet understand – and what many of us struggle with as adults: Important decisions rarely come down to choosing one value completely over another. They're about finding the right balance within our boundaries.

Yes, family is more important than money. And yes, I need to work to support our family. These aren't contradictions – they're components of a complex equation we're all trying to solve.

Setting Boundaries, Not Priorities

Instead of asking "Which do I care about more?", the real question is: "What are my boundaries for each?"

Early in my career, before I had children, I thought deeply about this. I knew certain scenarios would be "out of bounds" for me:

• Working 60-hour weeks that meant seeing my future kids for only one waking hour each day
• Traveling 25% of the time when my kids were young
• Being completely removed from meaningful work and career growth

These weren't arbitrary lines – they were carefully considered boundaries that would help me navigate future trade-offs.

The Power of Defining "Enough"

When we talk about our objectives – whether it's family time, career growth, or financial stability – it's not enough to simply name what matters. We need to define what "enough" looks like for each area.

• What does sufficient family time mean to you?
• What level of career engagement feels right?
• What financial threshold provides the security you need?

Without these definitions, we risk falling into the trap of "more is always better" – a path that leads to perpetual dissatisfaction.

From Theory to Practice

Recently, I experienced the power of clear boundaries firsthand. At a business retreat, while others struggled with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), I felt completely at peace leaving early to teach my kids' faith formation class on Sunday morning.

Why? Because I had clarity about my boundaries. Teaching that class was non-negotiable for me, and once I honored that commitment, there was no room for second-guessing or FOMO.

A Lesson from a Five-Year-Old

My daughter's black-and-white view of priorities reminded me that while life isn't that simple, there's wisdom in her perspective. We should be clear about what matters most to us.

But the art of decision-making isn't about choosing between our values – it's about defining the boundaries that let us honor all of them in sustainable ways.

What boundaries have you set to help navigate your own trade-offs? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Until next time,

Michelle

Want to explore more frameworks and tools for better decision-making?

Here are three ways to dive deeper:

• Listen to my podcast Ask a Decision Engineer​
• Follow me on LinkedIn and let me know what you want to learn more about
• Explore my self-paced Decision Toolkit for Personal Decisions + other courses.

Ready to bring these frameworks to your team?

If your organization is looking to help leaders make better decisions with less stress and more clarity, I'd love to design an interactive workshop or keynote for your team. Popular topics include:

• How to make better, faster decisions as a team
• Overcoming decision fatigue: What to do when you're completely spent
• Facing a big decision? Why you shouldn't use a pro/con list
• Making good decisions when you don't have all the information you need
• How to be a better thought partner in decision making
• Stop agonizing, start doing: How to know you've made the right decision

If you're interested in booking me for speaking, feel free to send me a reply here.